Tuesday, April 3, 2007

I'm Really Not a Whiner

I prefer to look at this as a time for growth. This is an opportunity to really examine the way I handle myself and to become more aware of how I react. I believe that having such a fresh glimpse of Serene Mrs. Swizzle will help with this if I can just keep that glimpse on the tip of my brain.

This may sound odd, but I truly cannot remember the last time I felt as at ease as I did over the weekend. I really will stop going on about it, but it was major. This is a major moment. In my day to day life, I had not realized how tense and on edge I'd become. Like I said, I'm having a major moment. Have I mentioned the word "major"?

I had truly forgotten what it felt like to be calm. Just calm. Not any angel choirs singing or anything, just calm.

Now that I've remembered it, I must do something about it. I can try to blame the girl, but she's just being 5. I mean really, just because she acts like a 5 year old, doesn't mean I have to.

The thing is it's easier said than done. What to do? What to do? How does one change something as basic as what one finds annoying? I think for me it may be a matter of constant, and I mean constant, attempts at being aware of whether I really need to react to Twinkle's behavior, and if I do, what that reaction should be. Try to reign in the over-reactions. Pick my battles, as it were.

My mom says that what helped her control her temper when I was younger was lots of prayer. I'm sure the hysterectomy didn't hurt either. That sounds a bit sarcastic. I don't really mean it to be. I think I can manage some prayer about this particular issue.

My goal overall? Loosen the bone, Wilma.

Wish me luck.

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