Saturday, May 25, 2013

Wounded to the Core

A knife to the chest. The world spinning the wrong direction.  As if I didn't need happy pills already. I may need to up my dosage. Look me dead in the eye and lie to me.  Dead in the eye. Dead inside. I'll never believe another thing you say. How can I? You want me to believe you over my own eyes.  Don't tell me the sky is green. I CAN SEE IT! With my OWN eyes.

So now what? I can't NOT deal with you. You're in my life.  You ARE my life.  You were my life. Now what?  I want to scream and punch and return the pain. I can't. It would do no good. I'm not that person. So do I go on the way YOU are, since you seem to believe that I believe your lie? I can't show these feelings in front of others.

I blame myself. But it's not my fucking fault. I WILL not blame myself. It would be arrogant to believe that I control another's actions.

Arrogant like believing that someone will take what you say as truth when they can see the opposite with their own eyes.