Ah, We Survived It All

It feels like it's been so long since I've posted. A lot has happened.

The day after I posted, I went with Twinkle's class to "Santa Claus is Coming to Town". The best part was when Santa, his sleigh and the reindeer ended the show by going around the middle aisle of the theatre right next to us and fake snow fell from the ceiling. The worst part was when one of Twinkle's classmates puked two rows in front of us right before the show started. Yikes.

The day after that, we went on our cruise to Cozumel with the in-laws. It was quite relaxing. It was also typical of time with the in-laws. Hubby asked his mother what her expectations were before we left. We had a fear that they would be very high and include spending time with them 24/7. She had 2 expectations: 1) seeing us at dinner every night, and 2) not babysitting either of the grandchildren. Hey - fine with me. So, when we saw her the first night at dinner, she was already babysitting hubby's 7 year old nephew. If I start thinking about it, it will drive me nuts. Suffice it to say, I don't know how hubby's 41 year old sister is still alive. Wait, yes I do. If she had to keep herself alive, she probably wouldn't be, but she's never gotten the chance. It's really 2 sided. She truly has never had the chance to fail. Literally. Even in college when she got 54 hours of F's, her parents continued to pay for her schooling (at a private school, no less). Fast forward to the present and hubby's mom is complaining about ..... fill in the blank.... but she really has a lot to do with the problem in the first place.

OK, I spent way too much time on that. The trip really was relaxing and Twinkle had a blast. Bottom line - a success.

We got back in time to finish shopping for Christmas. We had a great holiday. Santa came through for Twinkle. It was a "Dora Talking Christmas". We had a great time with my family and hubby's. It was wonderful to get to spend so much time with family.

Since then, we've done nothing. Twinkle and I have actually been playing video games for large parts of the last two days. Man, there's nothing like the holidays for sitting and doing the things you never get to do. Ahhh.

Two Days and Counting

Twinkle's Christmas luncheon ("it's a luncheon mom, not a party") was today. It was my turn to help with a luncheon. It was a lot of fun. The kids all stuffed themselves with relatively healthy food. They also had a book exchange. Out of 13 kids, I think there were 3 or 4 copies of "Polar Express" in the mix.

It's 2 days until we go on our cruise with the in-laws. Twinkle's class has a field trip tomorrow to see "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town", so hopefully there won't be much opportunity for her brain to go somewhere it isn't supposed to.

I'm a little stressed about needing to pack and do all kinds of things before Saturday. I thought hubby and I were going to do something trip related tonight, but he just called to see if I wanted to go to a hockey game tonight. I'd already told him that I was skipping at Christmas party with a group at church because I just don't want to add to the other bazillion things I have to do this week. So he asked why I didn't want to go to the hockey game - uh, same reason. It's not a matter of whether it's fun, it's just adding one more thing. He just doesn't get it.

Whatever. So, should I just ignore everything that needs to be done and not sweat it? Oh, it's Saturday morning and there's nothing packed? Hm, How about that?! What do you know?

Right now is the time of day I start feeling a bit sleepy and done quite honestly. I've been busy all day, now Twinkle is home and coloring and I just need to chill. I don't know what he and I would actually do that is trip related this evening, I guess it's just at the end of the day, after everything else, I just need to chill and thought I'd be chilling with him.

Twinkle, Twinkle

When I picked up Twinkle from school today, her teacher asked me to have a chat with Twinkle about focusing on her work and listening. Oy. Like she'll listen to ME.

So, I asked Twinkle what was up with not listening in class. She, of course, said she didn't know. I told her to ask her brain why it couldn't listen in class. So, she paused, asked her brain and paused again.

Then she said that her brain wasn't where it was supposed to be when she was in class. I asked her where her brain was. She said that it was supposed to be in the middle, but during class it was over on the right. I asked her why her brain was on the right and what it was doing there. She asked her brain, then said that it went over to the right because it wanted to watch TV, have something to drink and eat a sandwich.

Oy.

This evening, I asked Twinkle what she thought we could do to keep her brain in the middle during class. She suggested "brain medicine" that "tastes really icky". I suggested maybe we could remind her brain every morning that while she's in class, her brain has to stay in the middle. She thought this was a good idea.

I guess it's time for a Christmas break.

We Survived the Play

Well, the last performance of Twinkle's play (for Twinkle) was last night. I actually skipped it. There were 3 moms there to cue the kids and our church was having a tea that I look forward to every year. Hubby convinced me that since I'd been there Friday and Saturday nights, I didn't need to be there Sunday.

I had a great time at the tea, then I went to the theatre in time for the bowing. Afterward, we went to dinner. It was very nice.

This morning, I had a full on training session with my trainer. OH. MY. GOD. I thought I was going to die. We only worked on legs. Who knew my legs were so weak. I use them every day!The very first contraption was a squat machine. I actually had thoughts of "I'm going to be stuck here". I knew that Debbie was there and I wasn't going to die or get stuck, but I couldn't help the thoughts bopping around. It was HARD. And was followed by 25 more minutes of various leg muscle work. Yikes. Aside from the tiredness of my legs, my heart rate was up as well. I decided that I was not going to make it to the treadmill after all that work. It's so worth it and I know for darn sure I would not have worked that hard if I'd been trying to do it alone.

I made it home despite my legs being replaced by Jello. After relaxing a little bit, I went upstairs to change and thought "wow, climbing stairs is an interesting experience with Jello legs". Little did I know how "interesting" it would be coming back down the stairs. I felt like I had no control over my legs. The muscles weren't doing what I thought they would do. They kind of jerked a little forward on my way down the stairs. It was quite a bizarre feeling.

After scarfing down some lunch, I went on a mission for Twinkle's Santa gifts. I won't even go into it except to say that I was successful...eventually. I love Santa shopping. I can't wait to see her face on Christmas morning.

I'm Feeling Much Better Now

It's Saturday night. I didn't think I'd be so perky at this point.

Twinkle's play has gone great. Only one more performance to go. Last night and tonight, I got to be the mom that stands outside of the room the kids are in, watching the play and following the script to cue the kids when to go out. This is much better than being the mom who's inside the room with the kids trying to keep them quiet and occupied when they aren't on stage. I'm very thankful for being able to be the cue-er. Find your talent, and stick with it!

I was a little freaked out (not to mention annoyed) when I got to the theatre tonight, though. I was the only mom of the 12 kids in the room that was staying to help. Hmmm, how do I stand outside the room following the script AND be inside the room keeping the kids quiet? Luckily, one of the moms who goes where she's needed wandered by and I said something about being alone and she instantly said she'd stay as long I could cue them. What a Godsend. She was better than I will ever be at keeping the kids quiet and busy. Oh, it was wonderful! If I can just manage to be the cue-er tomorrow night, I'll may come through this whole thing with all of my hair still attached.

Last night, my parents came up (3 hour drive) to see Twinkle (and hubby) perform. Hubby's parents were also supposed to be here. But.... I won't get into it. OK, maybe I will. They called around 3 and said they didn't think they could make it because they had x, y & z to do. Blah, blah, blah.... Honestly, it did make it easier on me not having both sets of grandparents here at the same time. What bugs me is the time hubby's parents carve out of their lives for hubby's nephew. It's just getting ridiculous how much favoritism they show. They've driven the 3 hours to see him in the middle of the day, middle of the week; taken off work, etc. etc. Driven up and back in the same day... Ugh! Anyway, luckily Twinkle has not seemed to notice this yet. I figure she will one day. I'll figure out what to tell her then.

Next stressor... going on a cruise next week (yeah, I know...) with the above mentioned hubby's parents, sister and favored nephew/grandson.

What WAS I Thinking?!

So, Twinkle and I just got home from play rehearsal. I'm just about done. This isn't fun. I'm not a stage mother.

How can I get so angry at my beautiful, darling? She's only 5 1/2. I love her so. I just get so angry when she doesn't listen. It's the kind of not listening that makes you want to knock your head against a wall. Am I expecting too much? I don't think so. I mean it's simple listening like, "please be quiet"..."stopping talking"..."we cannot talk while we're in here" and she JUST DOESN'T STOP.

Good Lord, is it me?

I told her earlier in the day that if she didn't listen better tonight at rehearsal and didn't behave better that we were not going back and she wasn't going to be in the play. Now I can' t decide if she was better, or not. You know, she may have listened one time more than she did last night, but I was still just tearing my hair out the whole time. I don't think I was really all that tired and cranky. I did get a little nap after lunch, so I didn't spend the rest of the day feeling tired. Now, I feel like one of those squishy heads that you squeeze to relieve stress and it makes the eyes and everything pop out.

All of this leads me to wonder, what was I thinking when we decided to add another child to our family? If one child makes me feel this way, what happens when there are 2 of them? That makes me really sad to think about. I truly want another child. But I don't want to feel this way and scar 2 children for life. I don't want to be an angry mother. I know that Twinkle sees more than anger from me. It really is just this whole play experience that's pushing me over the edge. I know that on any given day I'm not like this. Lately it seems like I'm always a little tense, though. I really hate it. I feel so overwhelmed.

So Tired...

How do you do it?

As I've mentioned, Twinkle is in a play. Every night this week we have to be at the theatre until 8. I'm now a "stage mother". There are 4 or 5 4-6 year olds that have to be corralled and cued throughout the play, well as a group of slightly older girls that are better behaved. Oy. It's a bit difficult to keep up with what's going on on stage and keep the kids quiet in the room at the back of the theatre. We moms are still trying to learn the cues. I guess once we're confident with that, it will be a bit easier. With more than one mom at the back, it may be easier for one to keep them quiet and one to cue them.

Yesterday, I was really busy in the afternoon. Further to the "stage mother" role, apparently I'm also a stage mother for hubby. He needed his potato sack of a costume decorated a little bit, as well as an empty box wrapped like a present. Twinkle needed lights attached to her star and also needed a wrapped box. I am officially a mother now. I have purchased, for the first time, a hot glue gun. I probably haven't used a hot glue gun since college - back when it blistered your skin if you accidentally touched the glue before it had cooled. They are much better now. I can hot glue like a mad woman. It looks like I need to re-glue Twinkle's lights onto her star. Maybe I'm not the hot glue queen I felt like I was yesterday.

After the busy afternoon, I was already feeling exhausted when we got to the theatre last night. Then, after working to keep the kids quiet I was ready to collapse when Twinkle and I got home last night.

The upshot of all of this is that Twinkle is having no problems sleeping straight through the night without waking us. That, of course, means that WE are sleeping straight through the night without waking. Today, though I do feel like I could have slept a bit more last night. It's Wednesday, I just have to make it through the end of the play on Sunday afternoon, and this will all be over.

I don't think we're going to do another production like this until Twinkle is 7 or 8.

What a Crazy Week

If I can make it through this week without screaming, I'll be ready for next week.

This week Twinkle and hubby are in a performance at a local community theatre. The performances are Friday, Saturday and Sunday. That means there are rehearsals every night this week. Luckily the little ones like Twinkle are supposed to leave by 8 every night. Last night, they were actually finished around 7:30. That could make for a cranky Twinkle by the weekend. She did, however, spend the entire night in her bed last night, so maybe that will continue if she's so tired when she goes to bed every night.

I started working with a personal trainer at the gym yesterday. I'll meet with her again on Thursday. I'm really looking forward to this new take on exercise. I have someone holding me accountable AND telling me how to do things correctly. Hopefully, this will be the beginning of new habits that I can stick with.

We shall see...