Friday, July 6, 2007

So What Is It?

Things are improving here at Chez Swizzle.

It's been a pretty good week with Twinkle. I think it was Sunday night, after whining and fighting about bed, that I had an idea. I told her that I was really sorry that we had to leave her for 2 weeks in May to go get her sister. That I knew she had fun with her grandparents, but I knew it must have been hard for her to have Mom and Dad gone for so long. I told her we weren't going to do that again, and that she didn't have to worry about us being gone. I also told her that she didn't have to come into our room to check to make sure we were still there, because even if she couldn't see us in her room, we were home and not going anywhere. I did throw in that if she DID need to come to our room in the middle of the night, there was a blanket and pillow on the floor for her where she could sleep if she needed to sleep in our room. Since Sunday, she has come into our room once at night. And I think it was July 4th, a night she stayed up way too late.

Twinkle did continue to fight me and argue during the day with me a few days this week. On Monday, we went to visit my friend S at the hospital. Twinkle really wanted to see S's new baby, but that wasn't possible at the time. Now, I understand that it is difficult for a 6 year old to be still in the best of circumstances, but Twinkle was just nuts. This was intensified, for me at least, by the fact that she wasn't listening. Long, annoying story short, I was talking to Twinkle on the way back out to our car telling her that I was disappointed in her behavior. When we got to the car, she kicked the stroller while staring me straight in the eye as if to say, "what are you going to do?" After driving out of the parking lot, I was talking a little more, and she decided to stick her tongue out at me. Thank you God for not letting me lose it right there. That was the first day she had all TV taken away from her. The next day involved throwing a fit when LEAVING the gym. Again no TV. The rest of the week has been much better.

So, I'm getting better sleep. The fights with Twinkle are diminishing. Sparkle is sleeping through the night and, until right this moment, napping well. I'm even going to the gym (3 times this week). I'm still feeling beaten down.

Am I just expecting to recover from the weeks of Twinkle-interrupted sleep and arguing too quickly? Or hoping to adjust to the mother of 2-hood more easily? I just want to go through my days without feeling too tired to do whatever may present itself.

Right now, I really need to empty and re-load the dishwasher. I just can't manage to. I don't feel like I have any quality time with either girl. I still feel like I'm in survival mode and I guess I thought I'd be moving out of that by about now.


Anonymous said...

imho you are doing incredibly well - you have to give yourself credit - you did not have the grace of the learning curve of two kids - most of us have newborns who sleep a LOT while we deal with the anger and regression of the older one - later comes the "this is my stuff and she can't touch it" phase - you got it all at once with no chance to get used to it all yourself, much less talk Twinkle through it. A few days without TV will not injure her - and it shows that you are still in control of her world so that she can relax into daily life again - imho - ;)

Anonymous said...

ps - don't know if you've ever read Vicki Levine's books on pregnancy and parenthood, but she says somthing like this: we all want to think that our children will love each other at first sight, but bringing home a second child is the equivalent of your husband bringing home a second wife - "you needed company" - made me laugh at the time.

AnnaRR said...

You are in the first stage of 2 kids really means 2squared! Which is, of course, the number 4. You have identified the problem without yet having the skills practice level where it becomes second (!)nature. Honestly, it sounds like both girls are doing very well overall. My suggestion, park both kids with friends (I'd be happy to volunteer)and get some serious mommy pampering.

Mary Beth said...

Agreed, I'm a fun babysitter and auntie. I'd love to come over (on a weekend day sometime) and let you go have fun!

And EG is very right. This is a jump straight into the deepend of the 2 kid pool. A little like when Ken and I were married (first time for me) and it included a full-time 9 year old. I'd been single forever and I kept thinking, "who are these people and when are they going to go away and leave me alone!?"

Good for you on setting the limits. That is some of the hardest parenting work and some of the most important. They promise me it will pay off...right now I'm waiting to see...