What? Let Go? Relax?

I had a very relaxing chat over coffee this morning with Elastigirl. I actually drank coffee, not a frappuccino like I usually do. And I had a yummy blueberry empanada, but I digress.

Elastigirl had this CRAZY idea that I need to focus on relaxing the "last few days" before the trip and before I'm never alone again. OK, she didn't say "never alone again", but she did have an excellent point about the world turning upside down and all.

You know what else she said? "Forget your to-do list." Gasp. What? Wait, I need to stop and breathe.

Elastigirl, by her very nature, is quite the organized individual. SHE gave me permission to relax and just make sure I get packed. You mean I don't have to clean out the two junk drawers and the pantry before I leave? Huh. How about that?

I have managed to foist some of my anxiety on to Mr. Swizzle. Woo Hoo. Sorry dear. He said he woke up at 4 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep because he was thinking about what he's going to pack. Somebody has to think about it. Maybe that's why I slept so well.

So, I'm taking Elastigirl's advice. She's a wise woman. Not sweating the things that will wait until I'm back and can't leave the house.

I will do laundry. I will keep the house relatively clean. I will not stress. I will relax. I will enjoy this part of my journey.

I'm not sure how much I will post here while we are gone. You can follow our trip here if you'd like.

Oh, The Stirring

Good grief, I'm losing my mind. There is so much bouncing around up there, I can't focus long enough to try to get a handle on it.

I'm distracted by the smallest thing. I'll be doing something and notice something else that I need to do, and I have to tell myself, "NO. I'm doing this right now. Nothing else."

Twinkle's celebration of life is tomorrow at school. This involves taking pics of her from each year of her life and telling a little bit about it. It also involves taking some sort of tasty treat. On Tuesday when I picked Twinkle up from school, her teacher said, "Hey, we're also celebrating Cinco de Mayo on Thursday, you could bring something to tie in to that." My first thought? Margaritas. It just doesn't seem right for the kindergartners.

Twinkle wants a cookie cake. I bought jumbo cookies. It'll just have to do. Besides, 9am doesn't seem the best time of day for frosted chocolate chip cookies. Wait, what am I saying? ANY time of day is the right time of day for frosted chocolate chip cookies. With margaritas.

So, I've gathered the pics and bought the cookies. That's one thing taken care of.

I went to Target twice yesterday. The second time was because it was almost time for me to pick up Twinkle from school and she had a swimming lesson afterward. I couldn't find her goggles, so I just went to Target and bought another pair. I did look 3 or 4 different places first, but my brain just couldn't handle it. I still don't know where they are, but she does now have a pair that I can find.

I keep thinking of things that I need to do before our trip. I don't guess there's anything incredible crucial, you know, except packing. But I keep thinking, "oh yeah, that." Or, "oh, well. not getting to that." All those things I've been meaning to do over the last 2 years. They aren't going to be done in the next 8 days.

Slow, calming breaths should do the trick. And list, after list, after list.

Ah, Bodies

Yesterday, Mr. Swizzle, Twinkle and I went to see Body Worlds. Yes, we took our almost 6 year old to Body Worlds. After 2 friends saying they wanted to go, but didn't want to take the kids, we started wondering if we're bad parents.

But, Twinkle has been begging to go. For the last few months, she has been bringing home body books from the school library. We showed her pictures of the exhibit online and she is fascinated by everything going on inside her. And why not? How cool is it to be able to show the girl "that's what your heart looks like. That's what your lungs look like if you smoke cigarettes. That's what they look like if you don't. See the difference between the athlete's body and the obese body?" It was great. Of course, we didn't dally and read everything, because hey, she's 5. She can look and see everything and not worry about what's on the sign because we'll summarize for her.

She thought the body that only had it's nervous system was "yucky" and the display of the face from the inside was "a little scary", but other than that, she wanted to see everything.

And, hey, as a bonus...no nightmares last night.

Think of me what you will. I know there are people that think such an exhibit is unsuitable for anyone, much less children. I am not one of those people.

I think it's incredible that once upon a time, doctors didn't even know what the human body was like on the inside. And, think about it, your body is the one thing that you have with you at all times. And it's such an alien thing. It's amazing what our bodies do for us everyday that we don't even think or know about.

I think that after our visit yesterday, Twinkle has a better sense that she is "fearfully and wonderfully made."

Ok, Fine

Well, MB had to go and point out that it's been more than a week since I've posted. I've been wanting to post all week, but couldn't think of a thing to say. So, I've decided to play along with MB's Friday Five:

Friday Five: What Are You...

1. Wearing...Blue V-neck T-shirt from Target, brown capris and fuchsia (though I can't believe that's really how you spell it) sandals. Also, a new hair color. Heehee. Still in the red family, but it's now RED as in fire engine. Mr. Swizzle says the Chinese are not going to give me my baby.

2. Pondering...Whether the Chinese are going to give me my baby based on hair color. Kidding. What is life going to be like here at Maison de Swizzle when there's another bambino in the house? How will I modify my behavior to be a mother of two?

3. Reading...Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew; How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life by the Dalai Lama

4. Dreaming...Going to China and bringing my daughter home.

5. Eating...Cottage Cheese! I know, I find it hard to believe, too. Who would have thought I'd ever eat such a thing.

One Week Later...

It's been a long week. I'm not sure why. It just felt like Friday a couple of days ago.

After the nosebleeds last week, and the assurance that Twinkle most likely doesn't have childhood leukemia, this week brought an ear infection. When I picked her up from school on Tuesday, she said, "Mom, my ear hurts really bad." The first thought that went through my head was, "So, no swimming lesson today?"

It became abundantly clear on the 10 minute drive to take her friend home that swimming or any other activity was way out of the picture. Twinkle is a generally happy and upbeat child. One who doesn't know how to stop. Anything. As my dad says, she's going 100 miles an hour or asleep. Those are her two settings.

We dropped off the friend and headed for the doctor's office. I was nice enough to call and say that I would be there in five minutes and would happily wait until they could work us in. Twinkle walked into the waiting room and immediately lay down on the bench seat. When we saw the doctor only 10 minutes later, Twinkle said she'd rather sit on mom's lap than on the exam table - another sure sign that she was not herself.

We came home, played some Star Wars and she zonked on the couch at 7. The next day, she was feeling fine. It was a big day at school and she insisted on going. I took her and talked to her teacher about everything. She convinced Twinkle to stay until noon then go home and rest so she could come back to open house that night.

Yesterday and today, she's her chipper, 100 mile an hour self. She never had a fever with any of it, which is the only reason I let her go anywhere near school on Wednesday.

Hopefully, this weekend she will get a little bit of extra rest and fully recover.

This afternoon she has another swimming lesson. Hopefully we'll be going to this one.

Things are Changing at Chez Swizzle

With the impending addition of a wee one, I'm starting to have nesting tendencies.

We will leave to go to China on May 10 to get our new daughter and Twinkle's little sister. (You can follow all the fun here). Mr. Swizzle, as is his wont, asked this morning what our plans for the weekend are. He got annoyed at my "I don't know" answer. So, I said, "Well, we need to get things out of the attic for the baby, put things away into the attic, put up decorations in the nursery, figure out a name...." His reply? "I meant fun stuff in the evenings, possibly with friends." Oh.

While I say I'm having nesting "tendencies", I am having trouble following through on those tendencies. Especially today when it's oddly cool and overcast outside.

We've purchased airline tickets. I'm starting to go through several documents that have been sent to us by our agency that we need to complete or take with us to China. I'm getting there. I have big ideas and I'm keeping up with those ideas so I, you know, remember them. Hopefully this weekend, we'll be able to get a few more things done and feel a step or two closer to being prepared for our trip.

We'll be going to China, prepared or not. I'm ready to get my daughter. I'm ready to bring her home. We have travel visas and tickets. If I forget to pack something, I'll bet I can get it or a variation of it once we get there.

Can't wait.

Why? Why Can't I Rest?

It's been an interesting week.

The interesting part started about 11:30 Sunday night with a blood curdling cry from the top of the stairs. I was actually still awake and downstairs when this sound reached my ears. I was half way up the stairs when Twinkle cried, "My nose is bleeding!" The poor child had awakened from a dead sleep complete with a nightmare. The details are sketchy, but she ended up standing at her door with blood over the bottom half of her face. She actually kinda looked like she'd become undead and had recently been dining on fresh brain. I can joke. NOW.

We headed into the bathroom and, sparing you the gory details, got her nose to stop bleeding 15 minutes later. It was just a disturbing amount of blood coming out of my child. Being that late at night, I had all kinds of thoughts going through my head including ERs and blood transfusions. It was a lot of blood.

Anyhoo, Twinkle spent the rest of the night in our room on a chaise lounge. We're lucky she didn't have school Monday because we could "sleep in" until about 7:30. Whee. Monday afternoon, she had another gusher that only took about 5 minutes to stop. Then, she went to drama class. Cause, we need more drama. The same drama class where her nose collided with another kid's forehead 2 weeks ago resulting in....nose bleed.

I took Twinkle to the doctor yesterday morning before school and she confirmed that injuries like the one 2 weeks ago can bleed for, guess what?, 2 weeks. OK. Of course, yesterday, Twinkle started sounding like she was getting a cold, but I couldn't let her blow her nose.

After the doctor's office, she went to school and went to swimming lessons afterward. Last night? No nose bleeds. Lots of coughing though. LOTS. She again spent half the night on our chaise, and I decided at about 4am, when all decisions should be made, that she was not going to school today.

Meanwhile, I'm feeling like crap. You know that feeling when you're convinced that you have a fever because you have the chills? But you really don't have a fever? And all you want to do is sleep? But you don't sleep? Because your almost 6 year old, despite the coughs and lack of sleep, feels GREAT? Yeah. That's where I am.

And so, I'm blogging, because I can't actually go lie down and rest. I think I have a video game of PS2 Star Wars Lego whatever it's called in my near future. At least I can be Darth Vadar without too much energy expenditure.

PS... The doctor felt compelled to assure me that, even though a lot of people associate unexplained nose bleeds with childhood leukemia - because they are a warning sign, she had never personally diagnosed childhood leukemia based on a nose bleed.

Thanks. I had no idea. That I should be worried about childhood leukemia because of a nose bleed!